Birth Day Show

WARNING: Do not watch the Discovery Health TV Show Birth Day if you are pregnant!

I can't handle it. Every (and I do mean every) time I watch it I end up in tears. It scares me to death. One minute I'm happy and the next I'm sad, scared, freaked out and in tears. I'm sure everyone needs a good laugh today so I volunteer myself as the entertainment. Last week as I lay on the couch in my usual lazy position, I flipped through the channels and decided to leave it on a Birth Day story. I thought to myself, maybe I should see again exactly what is going to happen. Wrong idea. I've watched these types of shows a hundred times pre-pregnancy and was fine. Not today. Of course, there is always drama on there or it wouldn't sucker us in. Today was no different. Before I knew it, it got me. The woman was in labor pushing for hours and then ended up having a c-section. Let's back it up alittle...... they had me freaked out at putting the IV in!! I should have changed it then but no! I continued to watch the whole epidural part. I think I started crying hysterically when they put that scary brown stuff on the woman's back. After that it was all just a blur. The operating table, the Jesus position, the cutting... too much. The other woman they featured gave birth naturally. You might be thinking that was easier for me to watch- ummm.. NO! Both scare the daylights out of me!

So here's the funny part. The show ends and I can hardly catch my breath because I'm crying so hard. What do I do? I call RJ at work around 3p.m. He answered (normally he doesn't) and I couldn't get a word out. He kept saying hello?? Ashley?? Is something wrong?? I told him yes! YES, something was wrong!!! Majorly WRONG!! I told him I couldn't have this baby. I was scared of needles, knifes, hospitals, stitches, my legs in those sturip things, the whole enchilada!! I was crying so hard at this point that I had scared Addison and she ran to hide under our bed! RJ was really sweet and asked what triggered all of this. I told him about the show and EVERYTHING I saw and kept repeating that I couldn't have the baby! I just couldn't! I wasn't strong enough to have a baby! He said that there was no way out now and everything would be okay. I told him it was easy for him to say-- he didn't have to do anything but hold my hand and that men have it soooo easy! After letting me cry for about 10 minutes on the phone and trying to comfort me, I finally let him go. I bet he was thinking why in the world did he answer that call from me!!?!?! or that his wife had really gone crazy this time!!!!

p.s. If you think a week later I'm any less scared.. YOU'RE WRONG!